A Case of Cabin Fever
by PrettyKitty93
Summary: The Uchiha's set off to a ski-lodge in Aspen, but guess who Itachi ends up snowed-in with? Sequel to Make Em British. 2nd story in the WWN series. Yaoi, Itachi/Kisame. R&R Please. One-Shot.
1. Chapter 1

WWN: WORLD-WIDE NINJA SERIES

#1: Make 'Em British

**#2: A Case of Cabin Fever**

#3: Kiss Kiss Kiss of Paradise (Coming Soon!)

**Author: **PrettyKitty93

**Warnings: **Bad Language, Sex & Stuff, Yaoi in general

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Naruto series or any of the characters, they are the property of Masashi Kishimoto. This is just for fun, I do not make any money from this fic. You would know if I did own Naruto, because then it would be too nasty for tv ;)

_**A Case of Cabin Fever**_

_**An Itachi X Kisame One-shot**_

_**Synopsis: Now that Sasuke is finally an adult, Itachi can finally travel as he has often dreamt to but couldn't with the burden of raising his brother. The Uchiha's set off to a ski-lodge in Aspen, but guess who Itachi ends up snowed-in with?**_

"You'd think that someone who just graduated would look a little better than this- looking at you is just depressing," Itachi remarked at his younger brother who was idly channel surfing as he lay on the couch.

"Gee thanks," Sasuke muttered, not bothering to glance at Itachi. This is how their relationship worked, they didn't fight necessarily, but they scarcely got along either. They were more like roommates than brothers. Sometimes, Itachi would try and do the brotherly thing and talk to him when he was down, but Sasuke rarely allowed that, and he knew that if he were to look his brother in the eye, that would apparently imply that he needed to be talk to. And he didn't.

Itachi, however, was just having one of those nights where he wanted to get drunk, possibly _really _drunk, to the point of passing out, maybe. Why? Well, he usually tended to feel this way when it occasionally hit him that he was already twenty-three years old, and he'd pretty much wasted a good bit of his young adult years having to live with his brother. Sure, getting drunk wasn't the answer, but it was a pretty good temporary solution to the problem, either that or immersing himself in Sasuke's problems. He decided to do the latter.

"So let me guess," Itachi began, inviting himself over to the couch with a beer in hand. He didn't tend to enjoy the things too much, but hey. "You saw Naruto the other night?"

"Yes, but that's not necessarily why I'm upset. I kind of feel a bit better about seeing him again, but what's bothering me is the fact that I don't know how I'm going to find anyone I can love like him again," Sasuke responded, still refusing to look at Itachi, whom wasn't invited on _his _couch.

_How do you think it feels to have never loved anyone like that at all?_

Itachi did honestly understand where his little brother was coming from, honestly, _but _what Sasuke lacks to see is that life never began and ended with Naruto.

He sighed, sitting on the edge of his bed adorned with red sheets and even a black comforter with red clouds on them. His hands ran along the comforter as he tried to remember who was the last person who'd been in this bed. It'd been long enough, that's for sure. I mean, he's twenty-three for Christ-sakes, and he already feel's like his own dad, a man that would be fifty-something if he were still alive. Not that Itachi's any kind of sex freak, but he thinks he should be having sex more than a fifty year-old man, it's ridiculous! "My life has seem to begun and end with Sasuke, apparently," he muttered to himself. Not that he'd ever tell Sasuke that, but it was true.

In fact, sadly enough, the last person he'd had sex with was one of his old teachers from high school, Kakashi Hatake. He'd last had sex with a thirty-something teacher. A twenty-three year-old with a thirty-something year old. His ex teacher was a sexy thirty-something, however, a total wet dream all wrapped up in one. Still, that was a sad fact. It wasn't that sad at the _time_, but… well yeah.

As he lay on his bed, in nothing but pajama pants just staring up at the ceiling light while pondering on his life, there was a knock at the door. "Itachi," Sasuke called, "Deidara's here."

_Deidara? Here?_ He thought, rising from the bed at once to go into the living room.

"Itachi, surprise," the blonde remarked as the older Uchiha opened the front door.

"You actually flew all the way here? For what?" Itachi questioned, as Deidara made himself welcome, carrying in an overnight bag.

"Because I can, apparently. I had the money, un," he explained.

Itachi closed the front door slowly, still slightly in shock as he saw Deidara throw his bag on the floor, before moving Sasuke's legs off the couch so he could sit. Sasuke looked noticeably upset at being moved like that and gave the older man a death glare. Blondes were so obnoxious.

"You usually _call _or something, how long are you planning on staying anyways?" Itachi interrogated his friend, who was now kicking off his shoes. He really did know how to make himself comfortable.

"A week,"

"That's not going to work, we're leaving tomorrow,"

"Tomorrow? Where are you going, un?" Deidara asked.

"Aspen," Itachi sighed, sitting on the arm of the couch. "And people who can't afford to come, can't go with us."

"Don't be a bitch Itachi, un. You shouldn't be stingy with your money when you're so rich and I'm your best friend. Besides, I flew _all _the way from Australia to see you, would you really send me back so soon?" Deidara pouted, trying to look really pathetic in Itachi's opinion.

"I would," replied Itachi teasingly, which made Sasuke smile smugly until Deidara stole the remote right out of the younger Uchiha's hand.

"Kick the fucker out, he's annoying as hell," Sasuke griped.

Deidara childishly stuck out his tongue, before Sasuke swiped the remote back, muttering, "Pain in the ass."

Itachi grabbed Deidara's sleeve, dragging the blonde out of the room, into Itachi's bedroom and shut the door.

"You let him get away with anything," Deidara groaned.

"You annoy the hell out of people. And Sasuke is easy to annoy, even more so these days so I'd lay off if I were you. He's moping because he thinks he'll never love again," Itachi explained over-dramatically.

His friend, who was now laying on his bed, laughed at that. "God, Sasuke is such a drama queen, un. He must get it from his big brother."

"Ok, shut up," Itachi retorted, throwing a pillow at his companion. "And listen."

"If this is about you not getting any, I'm game right now, let's fuck un," he exclaimed, slightly teasingly.

The raven-haired man gave his friend a look. "No wonder you don't have a boyfriend, talking like that. You could at least be a bit more subtle, and make me not seem like I-get-what-I-can-get when it comes to sex."

"Well maybe you need to be _less _subtle, ever think about that? Maybe if you were more vocal about your needs, we'd be naked by now, un. And for the record, I'm kinda seeing someone right now, so I'm doing much better than _you_ in the boyfriend department,"

"As much as I know I'm going to regret asking… when did _this _happen?" Itachi inquired.

"I'd met him at a local art show I was in, he's _so _cute un. His name is Sasori," Deidara bragged, looking and sounding like a gossiping teen girl like he tended to when he was talking about his latest love prospect. He usually tended to make them sound like the best thing since sliced bread, until he got bored with them anyways. None of his relationships tended to last long, and usually didn't include much besides sex. And then in between, there was his best friend whom he usually tended to visit when his sculpturing funds allotted. That wasn't too often, considering he didn't get commissioned to do sculptures a lot, but when he did visit it usually included bothering Sasuke, catching up with his friend, have sex, and repeat. All the way until he went home.

"Honestly," Deidara began, changing the subject, "You should've stayed with the teacher. I bet he let you call him sensei when he fucked you, un. Didn't he?"

"Now that doesn't even-"

"_Didn't _he?"

"Ok, damn, he did. But he's way older than me, that was just a one-night thing so I'm not interested in even dating him," Itachi replied sternly.

"When did you get so un-fun?" Deidara sighed. "Sasuke is eighteen now- so you can stop acting like you're the dad."

"That's what I'm _trying _to do, that's why I'm finally taking that trip to Aspen. I've always wanted to go somewhere snowy,"

"Well you should take me along so I can help you get a cute ski instructor or something," he teased.

"Is that all you ever think about?" Itachi remarked, turning around to look at the blonde that was laying on his bed before said friend pulled him onto the bed, their lips clashing together. "Mmn…," Itachi moaned into the kiss as he pressed against his body. He hated to admit he missed this much more than he really should.

"You _really _need to loosen up, un…"

Early next morning, there was a knock on the bedroom door. "Itachi, we _do _have a plane to catch, damn," groaned Sasuke.

It took him awhile to register what Sasuke was talking about, before it hit him they needed to leave so they could make their plane. He jumped out the bed, before throwing on clothes as quick as he could.

"It's too early to be doing all this…" Deidara mumbled, throwing the blanket over his head.

"If you want to come, you better be dressed in five minutes," Itachi spoke.

That got the sculptor's attention, as he jumped up and quickly got dressed as well.

After they were all ready, they grabbed their bags and such and headed out the door, on their way to the airport.

After what seemed like forever on the plane, they'd arrived at the ski lodge in Aspen. It was a new experience for all of them, despite Sasuke's attempt to not act excited and look indifferent, as usual. The group was standing in front of the Durant Mews, luxurious lodging that Itachi had rented for him and his brother. It was one of the most expensive lodges you could rent, and it was plenty big too, bigger than they actually needed with it's four bedrooms. But, at least they had the extra room, given Deidara had unknowingly tagged along.

"Mmm this is going to be niiice, un. How long are we staying here?" Deidara asked, as he started looking all over the house.

"Five days…"

"This is going to be a nice five days. Now you and sad-sack over there, hurry up and change so we can go skiing, un," Deidara practically ordered.

"I'll be giving the orders around here, I'm paying after all. And besides, it's nearly dark, isn't it too late to go skiing regardless?" Itachi questioned.

"Actually you _can _ski at night. The slopes are lit," Sasuke pointed out.

_Damn, now I have no way to get out of whatever Deidara is probably scheming…_ Itachi thought, looking at the artist. He always has some kind of plan to try and hook Itachi up with someone, and now that they're in a new place, he's going to be very adamant about it. He can just tell.

Deidara and Itachi trudged up to the rental shop, Sasuke lingering behind.

"Now keep in mind, I'm a native Aussie, and I haven't skied before, un," Deidara started to explain.

"Neither have I," Itachi agreed.

"So this is where the hot ski instructor comes in-"

"_No_ Deidara, I'm not about to live out your lousy cheesy romance clichés,"

"We could at least _try _the ski instructor, I mean if you're just looking for a good lay then-"

"_No, _and what are the odds he'd be gay anyways?"

"Stop being so pessimistic, un!"

"And how can I help the loving couple?" the man at the rental shop spoke, eyeing the two with a smile.

Deidara spoke, "We need three sets of skis un, and uh, whatever else you need for skiing."

"But there's only two of you,"

"We need another for pokey over there," Deidara explained, pointing at the figure off in the distance that was Sasuke. He started marching off in the boy's direction, yelling, "Hey, haul ass, pokey!"

Itachi tried to ignore his embarrassing friend, before he was startled by the man asking, "Did you mention needing a ski instructor? Because they're available from ten in the morning to six in the afternoon."

"Oh, no, we really don't need one we can figure it out," Itachi dismissed it.

"Now are you sure you don't _need _a ski instructor?" he asked again, giving Itachi a slightly suggestive leer. "Because I'm off tomorrow and can personally help you out, since I heard you say you've never ski before."

"…You're not even a ski instructor are you?" Itachi responded, looking into the man's eyes.

"I don't have to _be _a ski instructor to teach you, as long as I know how. It's my treat. So what do you say?"

"I don't need an instructor," Itachi repeated, almost challenging the man.

"I'm gay, if that helps," he replied with a smirk.

Itachi saw out of the corner of his eye that Deidara and Sasuke were getting close by so he wanted to wrap this thing up as soon as possible. He let out a sigh before asking, "Where and when?"

"Tomorrow, on the beginner's slope at eleven."

"Fine, I'll be there," Itachi agreed.

"Good. My name's Kisame, by the way. And would it kill you to look a bit happier?" he questioned, looking Itachi in the eyes. He didn't like this man looking him in the eyes, because it just made him feel hot, like he was going to melt or something. And he cheeks felt warm, he was blushing, and Itachi did _not _blush.

It was late, and Itachi and Deidara were sitting up in the living room watching tv with mugs of hot chocolate.

"So what were you talking about with the rental man earlier, un?"

"He offered to teach me how to ski tomorrow," Itachi replied very nonchalantly.

"…Did he look blue to you, or was it just me?"

"He did,"

_Sip. _Silence. _Sip._

"Do you like him, un?"

Itachi just gave his friend a shrug, before sipping more hot chocolate.

"You _do_!" Deidara exclaimed.

"I _shrugged_, dumb-ass!"

"You always shrug, un!"

The older Uchiha let out a heavy sigh, before focusing on the television, although he knew that Deidara had no intent on quitting that easily.

"I want a straight answer, un. Yes or no?"

He had three choices. Say yes, and listen to Deidara inquire why and bug him to talk to the man until the end of the trip or possibly longer. He could say no, and have Deidara pester him about how it isn't the truth and assume he liked him anyway. Or, he could say nothing, and Deidara would assume he liked him anyway. So, avoiding the answer would just make things draw out longer and end up more complicated, so he'd be better off just saying yes, he did like the man.

"Itachi… didn't you notice he was blue?"

"_Yes _Deidara, I noticed. You're not going to start bothering me about _why _I like him, are you?"

"I'm just curious… un. I mean… I guess he's kinda cute," Deidara retorted, giving a face full of mixed signals.

There were soft footsteps as the two in the dark living room heard Sasuke come from his room in his pajamas. "Why are you two making so much noise?"

"Your big brother has a _crush_," the blonde teased, getting an older brother death-glare from Itachi.

"Well it's about time," Sasuke replied, gaining surprised reactions from the other two.

"And what exactly do you mean by that?" Itachi inquired.

"I don't know, I mean… I'd guess you'd get out more. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life being fuck buddies with _this _clown," Sasuke remarked, gesturing towards Deidara.

"Hey! Who the hell are-"

"You deserve better," the younger Uchiha cut him off. "Well… you deserve someone. So hopefully whatever crush this is that you have works out."

"Hm, thanks Sasuke,"

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, going back to his room so he could get some sleep. "Keep it down out here will you?"

The door closed, and then Itachi looked back at Deidara next to him. "Well, I guess that's as close as we're going to get to a mushy brother moment with you two, huh? You know it just hit me, once you get a boyfriend I'm gonna miss being fuck-buddies with you, un. We've been like this since we were kids."

"We weren't _kids _Deidara, we were like teenagers. I was like fifteen and you were seventeen,"

"I guess I was a bad example then _and _now, un," he responded with a smirk.

"Don't get any ideas- I have to go skiing tomorrow with Kisame and it's actually your fault for saying that crap about having a good lay and he must've heard you. So I'm going to sleep. There goes your good lay," Itachi explained, getting up from the couch.

"I don't know why you sound so angry, un. You actually like him and all," Deidara grumbled.

"Shut up," was all the older Uchiha replied as he threw a couch pillow at the blonde.

"Okay, stand up straight, now bend your knees slightly-"

"Isn't it a bit contradictory to tell me to stand up straight, then to bend my knees?" Itachi questioned, as he was standing on a hill with these skis and these poles in hand, feeling pretty foolish.

"Who's the expert here?" Kisame responded, trying to get Itachi to go the way he was supposed to. "Bend your knees, lean forward slightly, then push off with the ski poles when you want to go."

"How about you go first?" Itachi argued, not looking too pleased about this skiing thing. He didn't mind skiing itself but he didn't want this guy telling him what to do. Even if he was cute.

"How about you listen to the expert?" Kisame teased, flashing Itachi a cute smile. "You don't seem very cooperative."

"I don't like being told what to do by so-called experts," he challenged. "You _and _skiing is already starting to wear on me."

"By the time you leave here, I'll have you liking both,"

Before Itachi had even realized it, they had been standing pretty close, but he leaned away, remarking, "This is a little too intimate for out in public."

"How about in private?"

Itachi couldn't understand why that now that he was getting what he wanted, he kept getting all blushy like he was a little teenager or something, he didn't get it. And when Kisame had his hands right on his waist, trying to get him to get into the proper stance, his head was clouded with nasty thoughts, just from the touch. He imagined the larger man's hands on his naked waist, holding on to him as he thrust-

"You can go now Itachi,"

"What?"

"I was saying _that_, if you can make it down the beginner hill, I will…"

"Take me out to dinner?"

"Better yet, I'll _make _you dinner."

"Done," Itachi agreed, and as Kisame let go, the older Uchiha pushed down the hill, gliding down like he knew what he was doing.

"Heh, thank goodness for positive motivation," Kisame remarked.

So that evening, they hiked up to Kisame's cabin. It was starting to snow a bit, and it was getting dark up in the mountains, but hopefully Itachi was going to make it back to the lodge because he'd neglected to tell Deidara where he was going. He'd done that on purpose, because otherwise he'd call and text his phone nonstop possibly, wanting to know all the juicy details. And there was nothing 'juicy' going on, just dinner is all.

"Welcome to my humble abode," Kisame announced, as they walked inside the cabin. It was a nice-sized two-bedroom cabin, one room that was a guest room. The living room was nice and cozy with the fireplace, the kitchen was pretty big, so Itachi presumed that Kisame probably did a lot of cooking. It looked very homey. "Make yourself comfortable, look around if you wish, I'm going to get that dinner I owe you started."

While Kisame stepped into the spacious kitchen, washing his hands in the sink, Itachi looked around in the living room, being nosy. To be honest, by the neatness of the place he had a hard time believing a single bachelor lived here, unless Kisame just so happened to be a very clean bachelor. He'd been to Deidara's place before, and it had been _very _messy, but then again artists tended to be able to function in chaos.

After walking through the living room, he'd peeked into the guest bedroom, which was done mostly in shades of green and tans. Personally, Itachi didn't care for the color green, but once again the room looked very well put together. The bathroom was just as well, done in grays, whites, and blacks, it was very clean looking and manly. And then there was the last room in the hallway, the master bedroom. The door was open, but Itachi fought with himself on whether he should look around in someone's bedroom or not. It was rude, but he wanted to see if he could tell anything about Kisame from how his room looked. So, he decided just to take a peek, the man was cooking after all.

It was the only room that didn't look like it hadn't been lived in at all. It was done in shades of blue, the bed set matching this as well. There were pictures and random things on the dresser, the bed had been left unmade, and their were some clothes on the floor. He started looking at the pictures lined up on the dresser when he felt someone against his back.

"You shouldn't be so quick to get in the bedroom, Itachi," Kisame whispered in his ear.

"How did you sneak up on me like that?" Itachi questioned, turning to look at the tall man.

"It wouldn't have been so easy if someone hadn't been busy being so nosy…" he teased.

"Kisame…" Itachi spoke, feeling the man's arms wrapped around him. "Didn't we talk earlier about you being so intimate?"

"True… but we're not in _public_ now either,"

Kisame's hand traced delicately along the side of Itachi's face, before he leaned in to kiss the younger man. If Itachi hadn't anticipated something like this, then he wouldn't have come but honestly he didn't mind the man kissing him, touching him. It seemed kind of bad at first that he'd come up to this man's cabin alone fully aware that he liked him, but wasn't this what Itachi came to Aspen for in the first place?

They parted, before their lips met again in another clash of lust, Itachi leaning against the dresser and Kisame against him, his hands resting on either side of Itachi. It had seemed that somewhere in the midst of this unwarranted making-out, in a seemingly far away place, that a timer had rang, breaking the lip-lock.

"Sorry Itachi, I need to go check on that," Kisame explained, quickly leaving out the bedroom.

While wondering what exactly had started going on between the two, Itachi thought he'd heard wind howling outside and went into the living room to go see what was going on. He peered out the living room window to see wind and snow, whipping outside.

"Uh, Kisame, I think it's storming outside," Itachi announced.

"Are you serious?" he questioned, coming out from the kitchen, looking out the window as well. "Damn it's really coming down pretty heavy out there too, I don't think I'm going to be able to get you back to the lodge after all."

"…Crap," Itachi sighed, looking at his cell phone. He had no signal, which meant no way to let Deidara know he'd be alright so now he was going to have a panicking blonde on his case.

"I wonder where the hell is Itachi, un?" Deidara questioned, as night had fallen and the snow near the lodge was coming down pretty badly as well.

"Don't worry, he's okay," Sasuke remarked calmly, reading a book on the couch.

"How do you know?"

"I just do, don't worry about it."

"If you know where he is, tell me, un! Damn, he could be caught out in that storm somewhere!"

"He's _fine, _dumb-ass," the younger Uchiha grumbled from his spot on the couch. "He's with someone. He didn't want me to tell you, _but _if you act like you never knew, then yes I know where he is. He's with this guy named Kisame, having dinner."

"Oh his crush!…" Deidara exclaimed, smiling as things were finally starting to come together for his friend.

"Yes, so shut up, I'm trying to read," Sasuke concluded, turning back to his book.

Time continually ticked on as the two sat in silence, before Deidara started up again, "You know, I could hook you up-"

"Shut _up,_"

Itachi sat on the couch in front of the fireplace, smiling contently as he sighed, "That dinner was wonderful Kisame."

"I'm glad you liked it," Kisame purred, nestling beside the onyx-haired man.

Itachi looked into the bigger man's eyes, giving him what Deidara liked to call the "Famous Uchiha Elder Brother" eyes, that could possibly make anyone do a double take. If you didn't want to be sucked in, you don't look into Itachi's eyes when he's trying to seduce you. Kisame was instantaneously sucked into the seemingly now-crimson orbs Itachi was so famous for, and leaned towards him, claiming that sweet mouth as his own.

"Mmm, Kisame…" Itachi moaned into the kiss.

"And you were worried about me being so intimate earlier," he teased, holding the Uchiha close as he'd leaned him against the left side of the couch, trailing kisses along his neck, before the man worked on getting his shirt off, slowly undoing each button before they were engulfed into total darkness except for the fire burning in the fireplace.

"Did the power just go out?" Itachi questioned as he watched the man on top of him taking off his shirt.

"I think so, but don't worry about it we don't need any lights on anyways. And plus, I'll keep you warm," he said seductively.

As the shirt slid to the floor, Kisame moved his mouth to Itachi's right nipple, running his tongue around it delicately to make Itachi cry out. Then he moved to the next one, while rubbing his right hand over Itachi's bulge that was now in his pants. "I'm so hard, just from looking at you like this, Itachi."

"Ahh… I'm just so hard from the way you're touching me… Don't stop."

Kisame licked the younger man's pert nipple again, proclaiming, "You're sweeter than any dessert, I want to taste you."

So the older man moved to undo Itachi's pants, him letting out a small sigh at his hard arousal being freed from the tight pants. Kisame slid down his underwear, before licking the head slightly to see how Itachi would react. The boy wasn't very patient, so he'd have to stop teasing him like this. So, Kisame took him in his mouth, deep-throating him like a pro, Itachi would say. He arched up, moaning out at the sensation that had been long over due, he'd say. The man slid his mouth up and down, using his tongue to tease his cock, then up and down again.

"Ah, Kisame, I'm close…" Itachi panted, his hands gripping into the brown couch.

That only just made Kisame suck harder, trying to bring Itachi closer to completion, before he finally came, the man swallowing it all.

"Ahh…" Itachi panted, looking up at the seductive man on top of him.

"You really are like dessert," he remarked smiling before suddenly lifting Itachi from the couch, carrying him.

"Where are we going?"

"The bedroom of course, the one you were so eager to get into earlier?" Kisame teased, taking him inside his blue room. He laid Itachi on the bed, before climbing over him, leaving kisses on the back of his neck. Itachi was on his stomach now, so he could feel Kisame's clothed arousal rubbing against his ass.

"Kisame, why do you still have pants on? Take them off, because you're testing me," Itachi said, slightly like an order.

"Hmm you're a bossy one aren't you? That's hot," Kisame remarked, sliding off his pants like he was told.

"Well if you keep rubbing against my ass like that, I'm going to start begging you to take me without even being prepped first," Itachi explained. "I'm horny enough to do it too."

He flipped over to where he was laying on his back now so he could look at the man face-to-face, as he was completely naked now as well, and boy was he sexy.

Kisame reached off the dresser, grabbing the lube, before getting on the bed again. "I guess since you're so eager, I don't want to keep you waiting any longer," he said, as he coated two fingers with the substance and slid them inside the younger man. Itachi cried out at first, but after the initial pain, he wanted more. So, Kisame complied and added a third finger, moving inside him with a scissoring motion. "Mmm, Kisame…" he moaned. "I can't wait to have you inside of me."

"I can't hardly wait to _be _inside of you,"

"Ahh… Take me now, Kisame, I'm ready," Itachi said, giving him the sexy eyes again.

"I don't need to be told twice," he agreed, sliding the fingers out and getting his own hardness lubed up, before gently pushing inside Itachi. He went slowly, to make sure he could adjust to the pain at first. Itachi winced, but he figured he was probably really tight, since he hadn't been fucked a lot lately.

"I'm ready now,"

Kisame began to slide in and out, thrusting into the Uchiha, who's was clenching the bed sheets. He must've forgotten how good this felt. Deidara was good and all, but here was someone older and experienced who wasn't just your 'fuck-buddy'. Still, Kisame was moving a bit too slow for his liking, probably trying to be nice and gentle and all, but Itachi wasn't in the mood for that.

"Kisame… faster…"

"As you wish," he said with a smirk. "I just hope you'll last, we're probably going to be going at it all night."

That comment made Itachi turn red just thinking about it, when was the last time he actually had been fucked all night? That just made him even more excited, and harder, if he could be any harder than he was now. "Oh yes Kisame, fuck me, even all night long if you want to," Itachi pleaded.

"Hmm, you can get pretty vocal, can't you?" he remarked, quickening his pace, moving to a nice quick rhythm. "I wonder if I can get you to scream, up here in the mountains where no one can hear you but me?" He grasped Itachi's hard cock, beginning to stroke him in time to his thrusts.

"Oh yes… like that,"

He hit that sweet spot deep within the raven-haired man, making him cry out the older man's name, voice dripping with lust. It was music to Kisame's ears, fuelling him to drive deeper into him, to evoke more outcries from the uke beneath him, the Uchiha who had seemingly lost all calm-and-cool composure just because of this man. Bringing out the true him, the him who craved carnal lust and for some reason, trusted this near-stranger to do it. It could've been love-at-first-sight, but he didn't like using that word. He didn't want to think about it now, as he was awash with sweet, sweet pleasure.

"K-Kisame!" he exclaimed, as he came almost suddenly.

The older man came right after Itachi did, filling him completely.

As the two lay there in the afterglow of their orgasms, Kisame eventually asking, teasingly, "I bet you want to go again, don't you?"

Itachi just gave him a look saying 'what do _you _think?'

Chuckling, he remarked, "I'd never met any uke like you, I think it's a match made in heaven, hm?"

"We can talk about that _after _we have sex again," Itachi replied with a smirk. He wondered if Deidara would believe him if he told him they were snowed in the entire five days?

_How do you think it feels to have never loved anyone like that at all?_

Not as good as he feels now.

**End**

**Authors Note: **This one shot was hard to finish for 3 reasons: one I don't normally write one-shots, and I tend to draw out things too long (this was longer than I wanted it to be.) Two, I've never written a story with the Akatsuki in it, so I'm worried they're OOC... I hope not. And three, because I had a hard time writing the lemon so I hope it didn't suck... well please review, and look out for the next installment of the WWN series! And thanks for reading :)

So look out for 'Kiss Kiss Kiss of Paradise' next! ^_^


	2. A Little Extra

WWN: WORLD-WIDE NINJA SERIES

#1: Make 'Em British

**#2: A Case of Cabin Fever**

#3: Kiss Kiss Kiss of Paradise (In Progress)

**Author: **PrettyKitty93

**Warnings: **Bad Language, Sex & Stuff, Yaoi in general

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Naruto series or any of the characters, they are the property of Masashi Kishimoto. This is just for fun, I do not make any money from this fic. You would know if I did own Naruto, because then it would be too nasty for tv ;)

**Author's Notes: **Ok, so I was bored one night and I should've been working on Kiss of Paradise but instead I had an idea that just wouldn't go away. It started with the musician (producer, I believe) Fantastic Plastic Machine (that makes some very interesting music, btw) and I wondered one day did he intentionally mean for his name to sound dirty? Because some how, that sounded like that'd be a good name for a brand of sex toys and _voila_! I wrote a fic about Itachi's first vibrator, lol. It's just so funny because I couldn't ever see him using one...

_**A Case of Cabin Fever:**_

_**The Fantastic, Plastic Machine**_

He'd got it when he was about eighteen or nineteen, when he was visiting Deidara in Australia and the blonde had dragged him into a seedy shop.

"Deidara… let's get out of here already before someone sees us!" the older Uchiha brother hissed, glancing around the shady store that was dark, save for like some neon signs and some black lights, and reeked of incense.

"No one's going to see us, chill out. Besides, you're eighteen, you're an adult which means you can go into an adult store without being ashamed," Deidara explained.

"Just because I'm old enough to be in here, doesn't mean I have to be bold about it," Itachi remarked, turning around to see a pair of furry handcuffs. He made a face of disgust and turned back to Deidara.

"You are never any fun, un," he complained, continuing to look around.

"Well…" Itachi trailed off, trying to think of something to say. "I really don't give a fuck. If this place is supposed to be fun, I don't wanna be included in it."

"I think I know what might make you less of a tight-ass…" Deidara remarked, pulling something off the shelves and showing it to Itachi. "…_This, _un."

"No way in hell am I buying that," Itachi replied sternly, looking at the package in the artist's hand.

"You know how you're always saying you miss me when you're home?"

"No."

"Well, I'll buy this for you-"

"No."

"-And it can be your little souvenir of me, un! Every time you use it, you'll think of me,"

"No."

"You know what, fine, un. Be that way, I'll buy it for myself then," Deidara concluded, marching up to the counter.

"I'm not desperate enough to shove a plastic cock up my ass, thank you very much," Itachi remarked, as Deidara was paying for the thing.

Little did he know, the little sneak Deidara would hide it in his suitcase before he'd left. He should've expected that.

So, when he opened his suitcase upon arriving home, he was met with the view of that… that _thing_ that made him feel dirty just looking at it.

"Itachi…"

The older brother turned to see fourteen year-old Sasuke standing over him. He was praying that his little brother was a very naïve fourteen year-old, and didn't know what that was. "Yes, Sasuke?"

"…That's just disgusting,"

What did little brothers know anyways?

He threw the thing, labeled as the 'Fantastic Plastic Machine', into the side draw by his bed, hopefully to never be seen again. Deidara would call him occasionally, like usual, but somewhere or another that stupid vibrator would come up into the conversation. But after about a month or so, where Itachi had absolutely refused to use it, he stopped asking about it, and it was left to be forgotten in that drawer.

Until about three or so months later, one night when he was laying in bed but he just could _not _sleep, because he was so horny after not having sex for over three months of course. So, since Sasuke was sleep and all (since it was a school night) he did what he would usually do, just jerk himself off to completion, of course. Nothing extra, because it'd just make him feel dirtier.

His hand snaked its way into his pajama bottoms, where he grabbed his already semi-hard cock, from his imagination running wild. He thought most of his sexy, now former teacher, Kakashi, and his friend as well, much to his dismay. Not that it was too hard to believe since they were fuck buddies after all. Oh, there were plenty of hot men he could come up with as he got himself off, stroking his now fully-erect member at a quickening pace. He used his free left hand to open up and feel around in his drawer for a small bottle of lube, before he felt something else… his fingers traced along the foreign object before he remembered what it was. Crap. He was practically horny enough to actually consider using the thing… just thinking about it, he let out a barely audible shudder. This was the closest thing he actually had to getting laid, sadly enough.

"Fuck…" he grumbled. "I can't believe I'm actually going to try and use this," he admitted as he pulled the vibrator out the drawer, along with the lube.

After awhile, Itachi the prude had gotten used to using it somewhat regularly, just not enough to where it would embarrass him anymore than it already was. So, somewhere along the line, he'd went from just Itachi, to Itachi the pervert who uses toys to do himself up the ass. So much in fact, that he even did it once in his office at work. Yes, he'd gone from 'not desperate enough to shove a plastic cock up his ass' from 'so desperate he'd even do it at work.' But, he kind of liked the risk of it, he had to try and keep his mouth shut while moving the device in and out… and then when he actually turned it on, he had to bit his lip to keep quiet as the vibrations hit his prostate. That thing turned out to be his own little piece of personal bliss, despite the fact he was still embarrassed he used it.

One night at home, he was about to use it again, when surprise, Deidara bursts in uninvited.

Shocked, Itachi throws the device under his pillow and throws his cloud-covered blanket over his naked body, although it really didn't matter considering they've seen each other naked plenty of times.

"Itachi, un, why are you acting so weird?" was the first thing the blonde asked. Then his lips slowly formed a grin, asking, "Can I join you under there?"

"No," Itachi responded sternly.

"Oh come on…" he teased, getting closer to his friend, who was glaring at him as he slid beside him in the bed.

"I'm not even in the mood, Deidara," he lied.

Deidara made a face, before laying his head on the pillow before crying out as he hit his head. Itachi tried to convince him it was just a book, but once the thing turned on, Deidara knew it was no book.

"Itachi! Whatever happened to I'm not desperate enough to shove a plastic cock up my ass, un?" Deidara asked, looking smug.

"Look, I used the thing like once or twice, I was thinking about throwing it away for good,"

"You missed me, huh?" Deidara teased.

"Fuck you, I was just really turned on," he said, stuffing the thing into the drawer.

"Well… if you wanna throw it away for good, how about now?"

"I'll do it tomorrow,"

"Geez Itachi, you're so stubborn, un,"

Needless to say, Itachi never threw it away. It still stayed in his bedside drawer to this day, and now, about five years later, he and his beloved Kisame were sharing the master bedroom at his house.

"Oh… oh fuck Kisame… take me already," the older Uchiha pleaded.

"Where's the lube?" Kisame questioned, and Itachi pointed to the small drawer.

He reached inside, and felt around before finding what else, but the somewhat forgotten Fantastic Plastic Machine? "Mmm, Itachi, what is _this_?"

"That?" he spoke, unable to think of anything to say.

"Yes, _this_, my little dirty boy,"

"Well… when someone's home alone and they're really turned on…" he began to explain, as his lover was giving him this, somewhat creepy, knowing smile. "Look, since I have you, I really don't need it anymore so-"

"You should keep it," Kisame explained. "I'd bet you'd look totally hot using it, and _that_'s something I'd like to see…"

Itachi did something he didn't tend to do around others: blush. He turned red, thinking about his Kisame being turned on by the sight of him impaling himself with a vibrator. Yes, it sounded weird, but whatever got his lover off was fine with him.

That thing really _was _fantastic.

**The End**

_***Review Please!***_


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